1. We DO NOT need to show up with our hair combed, make up on and wearing a clean shirt.
2. Moaning, groaning and complaining about aching muscles is perfectly acceptable, as is taking Motrin (or something stronger) prior to a ride.
3. Helping someone on or off the horse does not mean the rider is an invalid. It only means the horse got taller overnight.
4. No one will comment about how big someone's butt looks in a saddle.
5. Everyone will wait, patiently, while someone dismounts and adjusts equipment. Everyone will also wait, patiently, until that person remounts and is ready to move on...no matter how long that takes.
6. When a horse is acting up we will accept that the horse is just having a bad hair day and it is not the rider's fault.
7. Mentioning it is too hot, too dry, too humid, too wet, too buggy, etc., is considered self expression, not whining.
8. Wanting to be first, last, walk, or just stop does not mean the rider is a wimp. Sometimes it is necessary to teach a horse who is in charge.
9. We will take the time to discuss the important issues of the day like who is dating who, who is cheating on who and any other relevant information which needs to be passed on.
10. We will acknowledge that horses are very strange animals and sometimes for no reason at all we fall off of them. If this happens to any rider the other riders will ascertain that the person is okay and then not mention the incident to another living soul, especially husbands and significant others.
11. We will acknowledge, without apology, that riding more than 6 hours increases our grumpy level far more than any ego benefits we may get from riding longer.
12. Our horses are not fat they are "big boned".
13. I need to keep this TWH riding mysterious and strange sounding. If everyone else finds out how much fun it is the price of the horses will go up and I won't be able to afford a dozen of them.
(author unknown)