true_perception:

For example, if a child falls and is not injured but does not want to get back on, should you make them?

Yes, yes, yes, yes. If anyone falls off and is not injured, if they ever want to regain their confidence they need to get back on.  Now, this doesn't mean they must get on and ride at the same level that they were at before the fall.  If they need to be lead or lunged at first then that should be allowed.  But they need to get back on because otherwise they will most likely have a harder time getting back on with every day that passes.

true_perception:

Or, if a girl is crying because she's afraid of trotting a certain horse for no apparent reason, is it ok to make her?

In this case, I would not be so quick to make them trott. However, since it is a riding camp then these kids obviously have an interest in horses and do need to be pushed to some extent.  This is more of a case by case thing.  Every kid is different.

I was a horse 4-H leader for years and years, years ago.  I had one kid who desperately loved horses, but was also afraid of going faster than a walk. Now, to be fair, she was a little kid, and her horse was about 16+ hands, although he was very gentle, and an excellent horse for her. Her parents pushed her, hard - it didn't help that she had two older sisters who were fearless on their horses. My solution was to just back off of her (I wasn't too popular with the parents for a while), and continue on with the lessons, which consisted of a lot of games on horseback. When it was time for trotting or loping, I'd let her come into the center of the arena, but I never made a big deal out of it. As time went on, she decided she didn't like being the only one not trotting, so she started keeping up with her friends. By the end of the first summer of riding meetings, she was loping on the rail during warm-up, talking to her friend a mile a minute. I called out to her, "Kristi, what are you doing?!" and she couldn't figure out what I meant. I said, "You're loping, did you even notice?" and she just got this huge grin on her face. I think if I had continued to push her in this situation, she may very well have given up riding altogether. But letting her progress at her own pace without making a big deal out of it kept her riding. I found that playing games on horseback (mother-may-I, musical feed sacks, walking races, red-light-green-light, egg and spoon races, etc) really improved the kids' riding skills without drilling them. We did do rail work, and I did do lesson type stuff, but when the kids were thinking about something else - the game - they weren't thinking about what they needed to improve on, be it getting off of the horse's mouth or developing a better seat, but they found that when they did those things, they did better at the games.

There is a big difference between pushing someone who has the base to push off from, if you know what I mean - if what is holding them back is insecurity or lack of confidence vs fear - and making someone do something they are not prepared for.  If the kid who doesn't want to trot is afraid of falling off, give him/her the skills to keep them on, or alternatively, give them the skills to fall off the right way. (I taught all of my kids the emergency dismount early on. I loved the look on their - and their parents' - faces when I started the lesson with "today we are going to learn how to fall off your horse!")  If she's afraid of trotting a certain horse, find out why - is the horse so rough she can't keep her seat? Work on her balance with another horse that she will trot on. Is the horse so strong at a trot that she has to work so hard to hold him back that she can't feel secure? Put her on a different horse until she has the skills to hold the horse, or work her on the horse she's afraid of in a controlled setting and give her the tools so that she can hold the horse.

If someone is genuinely afraid, let them progress at their own pace. Pushing them too hard in this situation leads to a lot of people giving up on horses altogether.  In the case of someone who falls off, definitely put them back on, but if they want you to hold the horse, or lead them, do it. I have been known to pick up a kid who was crying, afraid to get back on after a fall (usually from a walk or trot), and just put them back on, and then stand there with them until they calm down. (If the horse wouldn't cooperate, I'd set them on a horse that would, even if I had to get it's rider to get off first.) Don't belittle them for being afraid; encourage their every increase in confidence. I had a series of bad falls a long time ago, and then started having kids, and it took me ten years to get my confidence back to where I would jump on a horse bareback with a halter without feeling like I was going to throw up, and believe me, I was absolutely fearless (and often dumb) on horseback when I was young.

Sorry about the novel, but teaching kids and horses right is something I feel strongly about.

If a child falls off and not injured then yes I would have a talk with them and put them back on a horse. If the situation gets worse then I would discuss it with the parents. If a child is afraid of a certain horse I would not make them ride it, get another one. There are horses out there that I don't like to ride so why make a child do it. There is a difference in a fear that can be overcome with patients and care and one that is soul deep. That kind of fear should be handled by going back to the start. If this was my child and I found out that he/she was forced and still had trouble with it and was still made to do it ...you bet I would be rip roaring mad. I do not think that by pushing a child you are encouraging them, take it slow let it develop naturally.

I fell of my pony probably a million times as a kid, lol. Got her for my 6th birthday, she was a 4 year old QH/Walker pony. My dad just put me back on, and it became habit that when I fell off, I just climbed back on again. When he met my stepmom, who happens to be a horsetrainer, he asked her if there was any way to keep me on my pony, as I was constantly on my butt on the ground. Funny, I remember her as being the best pony in the world, and my best friend for 7 years. If you get them in the habit of climing back on, I guess falling off becomes entirely forgettable.

true_perception:

I just started working at a riding camp for kids, and was wondering if you would consider it ok to insist kids keep riding even if they are scared. For example, if a child falls and is not injured but does not want to get back on, should you make them? Or, if a girl is crying because she's afraid of trotting a certain horse for no apparent reason, is it ok to make her?

What kind of riding camp? A day camp or resident camp? Riding instruction program or therapeutic? Private tuition? Community-based underprivileged enrollment? Or possibly both? Is there any communication with the parents of these children to consult with them about their children's fears and how best, or IF, to proceed?

In any case, where children's camps are involved, it seems to me there should be some kind of psychological counseling safeguards in place. Leaving that task to an untrained activity counselor or volunteer coach seems unfair to both them and the child. And, not intending to be the least bit snarky about the important questions you've raised, the fact you've had to come HERE for advice raises questions in my mind about the camp operator's capabilities in general.

"Making" (forcing) a child to do something it is fearful of can have the same long term result as forcing a horse. Both can take a lifetime to recover, if at all. Facing fear is only the first step in overcoming fear, regardless of how unfounded it might be in the minds of others. It's a dicey call based mostly upon personal experience as to whether the situation is truly a fearful one to the child or just a manifestation of the need for persistent and positive encouragement.

We're all horse people here. Many of us probably got that way motivated by our desire to overcome circumstance, ignorance and just wanting to be with horses. But not everyone in life feels that way. And it's possible even some kids sent to riding camp discover they are not horse people. My own mother is petrified of horses, mine included. She won't get within three feet of the fence. But she always wells up with tears enjoying their inherent beauty or while watching either me or my sister work and ride them. When neighbors bring their kids to the curb to see and pet my horse as I ride by there is often one child that cowers in fear behind mom, who then tries to force the kid to "pet the nice horsey". I always tell the mom if the kid finds the courage to come forward and touch the horse, that's fine. But please don't force him/her. I can come by another day and we'll try again. And I'm happy to say that has worked on more than one occasion. And that fearful child often becomes the one that shouts with glee when he sees us coming now. Sadly, there are still some who run the other way. But that's life.

I guess what I'm saying is just because it's riding camp it doesn't mean all the children there SHOULD be there or even WANT to be there. And sometimes it takes riding camp to find out who is who. You have a tough job trying to sort that out. I would try to do my best to provide positive re-enforcement and encouragement to "try again" in the circumstances you cited. But there's no way I would "make" them do it. Good luck! ~FH

I go out on a limb so often even the pizza delivery people know to look for me there. So, here I go again...

true_perception:

The owner then insisted I take over. I did it because I knew if I didn't the owner would. After a few laps without incident she calmed down and was fine but I wasn't entirely convinced that it was the right thing to do.

Here's my take on that: The owner is a callous jerk who prefers to put his or her employees at risk of legal action if any of these campers get injured or traumatized by being pushed past their objections, fears and limitations. To continue following orders against your better judgment under such circumstances is ultimately going to lead to a situation where someone finally gets hurt. And the owner, who does have legal culpability in anything that happens under their management and/or supervision (just ask Cleve Wells), will drag you under the bus, too. It's up to you to decide if you want to continue taking that risk. The first instructor chose not to. And wisely I think.

It's supposed to be riding camp. Not riding BOOT camp. A defense of "I was just following orders" has never been favorably reviewed by history. Be careful and do what YOU think is right. ~FH

Very good advice. 

FloridaHorseman:

A defense of "I was just following orders" has never been favorably reviewed by history. Be careful and do what YOU think is right. ~FH

 FH has nailed it down. If for any reason you feel uncomfortable or question an order, don't do it.

My first thought is - why did the child fall?  Just on of those things that happen occasionally, over horsed/pushed beyond their knowledge/ability, or is he/she  a 'drama king/queen' looking for attention.  Of those 3 options there is only one (over horsed) that I would not have the kid right back on and made nothing of the incident.  If I had pushed beyond what they were ready for I would back off on how much was asked for and been sure they wre ready in the future.

 I think it is rarely a good idea to make people of any age get right back on.  First just because you cannot see the injury does ot mean it is not there..  Secondly they are upset the horse is upset.  take some time to check things out.  What caused the fall?  Usualy people have a good sense of what is safe and what is not and if a person was happpily riding fell of was not hurt in any way they would want to get back with some help and instruction to avaoid falling.  I usually have an old horse that is a good babysitter and they can do wonders to restore confidence..but only if the personwants to get on.  If a child is afraid to trot they probably are not ready.  get some more walk time and work on standing in teh angel pose at the walk doing silly songs with gestures etc to help them be secure.